Unrequited Love Revisited.

Near the end of March of 2009, I wrote this blog ' Unrequited Love'

How come the most romantic things ever done have been done in movies so when, if you tried to reproduce it, the other half will say; how original? and in the movies, that person doesn't actually want to do those things in real life.

But I got a hold of Love Actually DVD in Christmas and I've actually not watched it up until now and though it think the movie isn't Richard Curtis' best (I prefer Notting Hill), there seems to be a developing trend in the movies that I've seen that he has written. And that is the pivotal scene...

In Notting Hill, the scene in which I believe tells the whole story is the scene where Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) stands in front of the boy, the man that she likes; William Thacker and sells her heart out. Up to this point they dated, comforted her, slept together, he'd had his heart broken because Anna is famous, and her love life is the stuff the papers write about and stuff. But at the end of the day, famous and all that, Anna is still just a girl. Standing in front of a boy. Asking him to love her.

And unfortunately for her, the "daft prick" William rejected her request.....

Though later realises his mistake and a mad dash across the poshest hotels in London, and he asks Anna to reconsider him, eventhough he had originally rejected her.

Lovely moment, I love the movie.

And in Love Actually, although not pivotal but the one that stands out from all the other scenes is the scene in which Mark (Andrew Lincoln) portrays or a better word/s; declares his feelings to Juliet (Keira Knightley). And unfortunately for him, she is someone that he can't have. Up to this point, Juliet had requested video tapes of her wedding, in which Mark was the groom's best man. Because Mark is best friends with her husband, she had been trying hard to at least be nice to him, and if anything, Mark was being nasty, cold towards her. But his feelings for her weren't known until one day Juliet went round to his for the videotape and when she began to watch it, the contents were just close ups of her. And then the scene in which captured my imagination is the one where he declares his feelings for her in the form of words on a card, and a good few of them along with some funny ones in between.

He set out "without hope or agenda" to tell her his feelings. And how after it, he has to move on. And that love is actually all around us. So when he had finished, he had walked a few yards from the door and Juliet runs and gives him a kiss.....

However as romantic as the whole thing may be, she did the right thing in fulfilling her marriage and ran back inside.

There he said Enough, enough now.

He moves on.

A movie, and a short story if it were. Both have a similar theme.... Both about someone who, more times than none, you would love to be with, but their just too far out of reach.

And if you look at my heading for this entry; Unrequited Love.

It is the hardest thing.

For you to love someone but not have them love you back... sucks.

And I've not been in that situation many times, but even liking someone very very VERY much, but she just think your just a friend, or your just a wee brother or an older brother to me. It really hurts!!

I can say fortunately I haven't found myself in that situation many times, because for me, if I like someone, I could go on liking them for years and years. Like for example, a girl that I liked during my school years lasted from primary 7 up until S4 maybe.

I guess that was young love, stupid immature. Don't know the basics of love. But funny to look at when reminiscing.

But giving up hope is the hardest thing to do.

I don't give up that easily with anything. Some say I may be stubborn, and I'd probably agree with them.

Maybe sometimes you gotta realise that when something isn't meant to be...

It isn't meant to be.

And the quicker you know it, the better.

No point in shoving a square peg in a round hole as they say.

I'm sure if something is meant to be, then give it time. It will happen in time.

We all want to be loved.

We all want to love someone.

But sometimes it's not the right time, not the right person...

Nothing ever happens the ways you want it to, especially in love.

I know I've had my fair share of disappointments in this area.

But each one.

I've let go and I'll try again.....

Don't awaken love until it so desires.

PS. I Love You.

So anyways 9 months down the line, I'd like to add to the above blog.

Lovefool.

Love makes you do tons of things you wouldn't do at any other point in your life.

I can't think of many examples of me personally doing something I wouldn't do if it weren't for love.

But I once did go on a diet because she told me to.

Healthy but dead arduous.

But when we do things for that certain someone and when it becomes a force of habit are we habouring a hidden motive?

I'm sort of speaking to the boys here because being one myself I know that, that is what we love to show to girls.

Correct?

Don't get me wrong, a girl might sort of like you because of your good deeds.

However it isn't all they look for.

Be careful boys because your good deeds might be taken for granted.

And girls, we don't like that.

But this can happen the other way too.

A lot of the times, we chase after things which don't necessarily want to be chased after.

The quicker you realise this, the better.

You spend everything you have to satisfy your desire.

Their need.

Yet their just taking advantage of you.

Really I don't think you should get to that stage.

Because really love should be a two way thing.

If only one is chasing and the other one just happily going through the emotions then there is no love between you that will last for any long period.

So relating it to us, he or she doesn't reciprocate that love we give them.

Why?

Only they know.

What's the point in chasing something, someone that doesn't want to be chased after?

I sound like a pessimist but in love I think you would have played your strong cards first before they see your tail end.

And if they saw that, trying to change their opinions of you is hard.

If they haven't started liking you after a while, take your good heart elsewhere.

PS. I Love You.

What Lies Beneath.

I don't usually do my dirty laundry online but in this instance I couldn't care if the person reads this because this person really ought to know that I'm not too pleased.

But out of the kindness of my heart, I don't state names on this blog.

Anyways.

Not much bothers me.

If something does annoy me then I try to think of a way around it or at least don't let it affect me.

And its quite ironic that in the hour previous I was at Sunday School teaching the kids to keep to themselves, and if anything annoys them that they should turn a blind eye to it..

However...

Something someone said to me really flustered me.

I'm kind of annoyed at this person for other reasons previous but being the person that I am, I don't let it affect our relationship as friends much.

I try to forgive.

Saying C'est la vie.

That's life.

It's really hard to think a couple of years ago, me and this person were the best of friends, but now life has taken us elsewhere.

And now, at times I'm really hurt, but for this person rather than myself.

I feel sad.

I feel bad that I have to bad mouth about it to extinguish my frustration.

I feel sad that they are who they are.

Because beneath it all.

I know who they are.

So many people with so many facades.

I wish they'd take it down and show us all who you really all are.

Why don't you give yourself and us a break and just be who you are.

No need to be nice if you don't want to.

Your only kidding yourself.

Sorry if you were expecting a love story blog.

But this one has been a labour of love coming to an end because I've decided that I can't entertain this person any longer.

I can only be civil and love from a distance.

But other than that, its too much at this moment in time.

PS. I Love You.

Conflict of Friends.

I really hate it when a couple of friends are at loggerheads.

One hand is your friend.

The other is your friend.

Which one do you help?

Try as you might to extinguish the situation for them, how do you do it without appearing nosy?

In situations like these you shouldn't remain silent.....

For long anyway.

I think things are better said than not said.

No matter how bad they are to hear.

You should practice being honest with each other.

Otherwise you'll never know what your doing right and what your doing wrong.

It really gets in my nerves when people can be so belligerent towards one another.

I hold up my hands.

I can be like that myself.

But I won't show it.

Nor will I act on it.

But I will not be like that to them for long.

If someone hurts me, I can be angry for a bit, but I won't keep it stored.

Sometimes the best of relationships are ruined because of the hurt.

Why?

Nothing can hurt that bad can it?

The pain of it only lasts as long as you want it to.

You control how much someone can hurt you.

And you control how long the pain will linger on for.

I don't know about you but I try to be everyone's friend.

Even if I don't achieve that, then at least be civil with them.

It hurts me to hurt someone.

I don't like doing it.

So that's why at the end of the night...

Beginning of the new day..

All is forgotten.

To me, you don't have to say sorry.

PS. I Love You.

Try and Try, but For What?

I was saying to someone that for me, when I observe somebody's relationship with their other half, and when they have a dispute, that I'd normally side with the guy.

Why?

Because I'm a guy myself and if anything, I should look out for him.

I might not agree with the guy but most of the time, when the guy is wrong, all crumbles around him.

And I guess what I'm there to do is help him out of his rut.

But when the dust is settled and everything is hunky dory, is it really?

This not need to apply to relationships.

But also friendships.

Particularly with girls.

I use the word girls here because most of them aren't mature enough to be called women.

I know guys.

Some of them have gone through hell and back to please their other half,

Yet its not enough for them.

I know even girls who try hard with their girlfriends yet they all seem to fall short of their acceptance.

The world is always looking to crawl up someone's ass.

Some ones like it.

Some ones don't.

I really annoys me when I or other people (friends) have tried with other people yet they hit a brick wall.

Sometimes I wonder why even bother.

It's very un-Christian of me, of any Christian.

But even God hits a brick wall with some.

Sometimes I try so hard.

Yet I feel as though they don't see that I'm trying.

Or couldn't care if they notice or not.

PS. I Love You.

Here today. Gone tomorrow...

Before I start, I don't usually mention anyone's name in particular in my entries but in the blog entry, I think it would only be right to break that trend. So here goes:

Wednesday 29th July 2009.

The day had started off like any other day, and like the other two before it, Ling and I got up around 0930hrs, though she had been feeling unwell throughout the night so I'm not entirely sure about how many hours of sleep she has got. Not much I'm guessing as I often witnessed her getting up from the lying down position. And apparently my snoring is very loud...

Anyways we went down for breakfast soon after and Ling had said the night before that she wasn't going to eat anything apart from congee for breakfast... but she had that as well as four steamed "baus" (buns). Might as well since its buffet breakfast...

Once breakfast was done with, we went back to our room to pack our luggage and to check out before midday. Nothing exciting so far...

Anyways once we'd checked out of our hotel, we had a couple of hours to kill, in which we had decided to go obtain a dress that Ling had bought the night before but for her sister..

Unfortunately for me, she had spent her last Ringgits (Malaysian currency) on the hotel and the taxi to the airport, so I was left to pay for Ling's shopping spree.

She guilt tripped me!

So I bought her a dress,
a watch,
some travel band thing,
and something else....

I'll not say what that something else is, but before your mind goes wondering, its nothing dirty but something personal and essential..

Anyways at 1400hrs, we had to be back to our hotel to get our taxi to the airport. The taxi turned out to be a mini van.. And beforehand, I was wondering why our trip to the airport was cheaper than the other way around... Was it because it wasn't air conditioned? Anyway it was so yeh!

Got to the airport, checked in, Ling's luggage was overweight, her impressions of what one kg or any amount were totally out... She thought her little bag of cables and two 500ml bottles of water weighed at least 4kg but when I went to weigh it, it was only 1.5kg. But anyways she eventually got through. She just had to make heavy her hand carry. Went to have McDonalds for a late lunch. Ling had been a little bit moany at the beginning of lunch but better as the meal progressed. Finished lunch, boarded our flight, flight was delayed for about a half hour, got to Kuala Lumpur, checked into my massively small hotel room.. used the toilet, sink was leaking, allocated a new room, unpacked, showered and pretty much soon after, we went back to the airport.

So as Ling checked in, I managed to connect to the free wifi at the airport, checked my Facebook and one of my college friends had written that the results of first year had been sent to him.. I became a little anxious as to what lays at home when I return... I'm not expecting a great result and I felt a little worried of what the future will bring.

Anyways Ling came running back towards me to get her keys to the luggage, as again she was overweight, but this time only by one kg. But she got there in the end and thereafter we decided where to have our last supper.. There wasn't much to choose from and Ling wanted something oriental. But my appetite had gone, or I wasn't hungry but we finally settled on this coffee house called Old Town and throughout our holiday in Penang, we near enough went to one of the branches every day as it offer their customers free wifi. And Ling thought I wanted to go there so I can go online (as I can't live without the net as she says). In some levels Ling was right, I did want to go online, but not badly. But when I got there, it suddenly came out....

Tears....

I cried in this coffee house because Ling, my big sister was leaving me.

I'm normally made of steel and I don't cry often but in the midst of strangers, Ling to my left, I made my feelings clear that I'd miss her much.

I weeped...

People must have looked at me thinking what's happening to him? Has Ling told me some bad news?

Anyways I kinda used up all the tissues that Ling had given me to wipe away my tears, so I went to buy her some at the shop. Whilst there I also found a heat pack for her back as she complained of it being sore. So being the brother that I am to her, I bought her a pack. Got back to her and Ling had taken a bite of what was supposed to be Kaya Toast, but in my moment in sorrow, I had ticked the wrong box...

Sighs....

Either way, it was edible but I didn't eat it. I was really down because the sudden realisation that Ling is going. She eventually gave way to, seeing me cry made her cry too...

But trying to hold up the ship, we also tried to make each other laugh as well.

Anyways got to 2230hrs, we decided that she have to make her way to the gate....

I helped her with her luggage one last time and we hugged, and I said a short prayer as we hugged. And then I walked her to until I could not go any further...

I watched her go.

She looked back a few times.

I didn't look at anything other than her and once she got to the escalator up..

I waved.

She waved.

Bye Bye...

Thinking back to the last events is making me emotional, but holding up my guard, I think of the good things about Ling. Often we joked about leaving the nasty, the moany side of each other which in ways is good... But for me, her negative ways are only momentarily and that its just what people are like.

Were moany, and were nasty...

For me, the last few years I've gotten to know Ling quite well, she'd tell me things and vice versa. I was there for her through her bad times, but also shared happy times. But what really sums it for me is that Ling was like a big sister to me. I often refer to her as 'dai jeh jeh', following the rest of her family in what they called Ling, and this stuck.

Although we aren't, we annoyed each other, and enjoyed each other's company like if we were really siblings.

I don't have real life siblings and for me to adopt her as my big sister, I chose the right girl.

Not that Ling needed any other brothers but I sure treated her like my own and vice versa.

Guys often like doing things for girls and for me, it really depends on who that girl is?

Is it family? Is it the girl that you like? or is it my mum?

But with Ling, I found myself helping her more times than none. I'd always try to be there for her. She was my fragile sister that I try to take care of...

But on the night of Wednesday 29th July 2009, I said to her before she went;

Look after yourself Ling, I won't be there to look after you.

I actually don't remember if I said it like that, but what I said, that's what I mean, and if your reading this Ling, please remind me if you remember.

But that night is made sad because I can't be there for her in Australia. Not that I want to follow her but that I want to know that she is doing well and also help her if she needed.

But Ling has gone to new pastures and I really hope she does make it down under.

My general demeanour about this whole thing is that Ling will be back home before she, I, and you'll know it. But I finally said to her a bit before she left that my head thinks that but my heart wants her to flourish, and she felt she wasn't doing that back in Glasgow.

I'm finally letting her go.

As I write this entry, I really miss her and please before your mind wonders, our friendship was pure platonic.

I often say that in times when she wants me to do something for her, I almost feel like that I'm holding her hand in it, and that if she doesn't feel comfortable in a situation and if I happen to be there, I'll hold her hand and ride out the storm with her.

Not literally of course.

Though sometimes we'd grab onto each other's wrists as we crossed the road in Malaysia. The traffic is pedestrian unfriendly. Me being me, I always make sure I was the first one to be hit/ knocked down should a car hit us.

There's the side of me that wants to protect her too, and whilst we are in different worlds, I can't do that anymore..

I don't generally give Ling much credit but on this migration to Australia, she has often amazed me in how resilient she can be..

She sure doesn't show it back at home but I guess when no one is there to do it for her, she has to do it on her own.

We have been freed from our duties of helping Ling if you ever had any.

But I don't know you.

But I know me.

I know that one of life's greatest joys is helping people, and I believe all the little insignificant things I've ever done for her, she'll remember at least one or two and say;

Raymond; a good guy.

If I manage to make everyone think that, then I'd die happily.

Well Ling, my dai jeh jeh;

I miss you so much.

Wherever you are in the world, I'm sending you my love.

Safe journeys.

x



PS. I Love You.

Gone but still Moonwalking in Our Hearts.

No many individuals can, had or have captured the world's imagination so much the way he has.

What a legend that is Michael Jackson.

I can't say I'm his biggest fan.

Nor his biggest fanatic.

But an observer of half his life.

I remember the first song that I ever remember that was from Michael Jackson was his Earth Song.

I was about 7-8 when that was out and I remember the song was good for me in the fact that it was kinda catchy, and it has a good tune to it.

But I didn't understand what the lyrics meant until I was older.

Obviously now that I am older, I know the song is about the environmental destruction we've caused to the world.

So this is my first taste of who MJ was.

And as I've gotten older, I began to listen to music from years past and one name that is always mentioned is Michael Jackson.

His music has been put on albums which have to this date outsold anything else before and after it.

His songs are songs that I remember well.

Even though I wasn't aware of his peak in popularity.

I've done my homework on him.

I don't foresee any artist hereon in selling the amount of albums as Jackson did.

He is truly a legend.

His death is untimely.

At 50, you'd think you have a good few decades at least.

But unfortunately for us, he's in a better place right now.

Rest in Peace Michael Jackson.

........................

My mood has been sombre today because of his death.

The breaking news from the night before touched my heart.

And tonight when I was working, I had a sense of 'I know how Michael Jackson felt'....

Although I wasn't pressured to lead a life of fame and fortune.

I've never been pressured to do anything in my life.

But I've had obligations which I had to fulfil which I don't know if they've hampered me in any way.

Of course if asked, I'd say yes they did.

But thinking about it deeply, I maybe just didn't give myself the best chance in life.

And tonight, when I was working in the shop, the wee boy had said from the start of work, he didn't want to be working tonight.

He never wants to work.

I guess that was no different.

I see him sitting there, playing with his pathetic iPhone and poking it here and there, finger left and right, parents in the kitchen shouting at him to give them a hand, and I was wading in with pleas of assistance but because I'm kind of his employee, I didn't ask with like a cry for help way, but a nice give me a hand.

But anyways his parent's plea, and my requests fell on deaf ears.

His dad shouted at him later and said come into the kitchen and help us or go home.

When he heard the words 'go home', he immediately sprung from the chair and proceeded to the door.

And that was him.

I was thinking about how my life had been like that.

In the past, in my first shop, when I was old enough, I'd be working in the counter and the kitchen.

There was a point when and where I didn't like it.

I wanted to be playing with my friends, running about.

But I got over that stage when I started to get paid decent.

Hehe.

And when I realised that life isn't always about playing.

But here is this little boy who absolutely detests working there, yet because he is their parent's son, he has to.

One wonders how many other kids are forced into a working situation like him.

Like me.

Like Michael Jackson.

Although we can't compare ourselves with Michael Jackson.

The fact that we were doing things when really, we ought to be playing with our friends, having a laugh.

We've been working for our parents.

I can't complain really, I was only working like a few nights a week.

That's nothing compared to Michael Jackson, who has been doing from pretty much the day he could walk.

He missed out on his childhood.

And although this wee boy at work will not have worked the same amount of hours as Michael did.

One thing they'll have in common is that they'll say is their childhoods weren't the ones that they wished for.

I can't say whether their parenting is good or not.

But one thing is for certain is that I don't want my children working when they don't want to.

Children should be children.

PS. I Love You.

How to do the Impossible?

I said to a friend recently, was a total spur of the moment thing;

Not even God can keep everybody happy.

I was thinking throughout these last couple of weeks how my life of late is about keeping everybody happy.

Some things, some people need to be kept happy more than others.

But overall I think I've managed ok.

But how do I do the impossible; keep everybody happy?

There's things I do that appeal to people, and there's things I do that don't.

But at the end of the day, am I in the business of keeping everyone happy?

No.

But when I do upset someone, I might not hear the end of it.....

I think some people are just more easily annoyed than others.

And when that is, I really don't have time for either their petulance, their dependance on me thinking I know everything, their misunderstanding, their general demeanour and their pettiness.

I pride myself on being civil with everyone.

But how do you do that when people are stabbing me in the back?

Not literally.

But really how do you?

I normally try not to take anything bad to heart.

And that whatever you've been hit with, that's nothing compared to what we've been hitting God with.

But when someone has hurt me, I immediately try forgive and forget.

Or at least stay mad at them until the end of the day and then the next day, its forgotten about.

I think sometimes people fail to realise that the hurt only hurts the amount you want it to.

If your quite a laid back person, and can take the punches, your obviously not gonna care if someone calls you a name or two.

But if your quite an emotional fragile being, then something like that can cause you hurt and its only you dwelling on it does the hurt become almost a crime.

The world would be a better place if people just practice forgive and forget.

I believe the people that have hurt you did it unintentionally.

Believe me when I say most people out there don't wake up and say I'm gonna hurt so and so.

That doesn't happen!

Maybe only a few.

But generally were all good folk I believe.

If your good, then try and forgive them after reading this.

PS. I Love You.

I'm your Brother.

Just in a last few months or so, I've began to feel something more than I have been at any given time in my life. It's a nice feeling. 

You may or may not know that where I work, there's a boy. He's 14 years old and in many ways I see myself having the same sort of characteristics that I have right now and that I had when I was a teenager.

It's a small world by the way. Before I started work in the particular take out, we've actually crossed paths in the past. I was doing the chinese school thing and he was once a pupil. I remember giving him into trouble for something he did. And when I walked into the take out for the first time and saw him, I almost immediately thought this is a familiar face. Anyways he was naughty then and that was that.

I hadn't seen him for maybe just over a year though it wasn't my intention to but it just so happens that I've been placed in his life again.

I don't have any blood siblings but this wee boy, I wouldn't say taken under my wings but it feels good when I can part with some of my wisdom if it were to the things I did and didn't when I was his age.

Being of a similar situation, both me and him were brought up going to our own take outs after school and remained there until closing time. And as we got older, we had to work there. 

I hated having to go to the shop all the time but I guess there wasn't anything I could do. When I was older, I was allowed to stay home.. alone.. but with that, I had to work.

I guess I didn't mind the working as much.... really depends. But if life asked me what I would have preferred, then I would have preferred that my folks had a western job and I would come from school and go out to play afterwards instead of the life that I had.

But that's life, nothing is without its negatives.

But yeh, I didn't like it, but I lumped it.

And as I got older, I saw that I had to work and I guess as the older I got, the more responsibilities I got, and for a wee while, I played the boss which I liked. Haha.

But anyways me and this kid have something in common- we both don't like having to go to our respective shops.

Another thing which has endured on me is his dependance on me on certain things.

My chinese is bad at best but when it comes to explaining things, he rather I do it when he needs to explain something to his mother.

Sometimes when I was younger, I wish I had an older sibling to explain the things that were going through my head and life but being of our culture, I think we kinda like to keep the bad things within and let them lull. 

Anything computer and internet related. I'm the savvy one.

Just the other day, I kinda had to tell him off for something. 

Basically its a mistake which I guess, the young and naive him would make.

He went to Hong Kong with his parents during the easter and he took his iphone with him. Oblivious to him, roaming charges kick in once you leave the country and whenever you go, its really your responsibility to find out how much calls and data are for the country your heading to. If your staying within the EU, then the prices aren't bad as they are for Asia. Anyways naive him used his phone as normally and ran up a massive bill, thinking his free calls and unlimited data served here is also served in the other side of the world.

Not the one having to pay, I laughed at how this 14 year old can afford to pay the month's bill. I actually question how he even pays the monthly line rental never mind this particular month's bill.

But turns out his dad has bailed him out....

So I give him my words of wisdom and told him about the roaming charges and it was his own fault and not of o2's. 

I told him, you've done it once, learn your lesson. Don't do it again.

I've never been in a position where I could do that with anyone really. I don't have any siblings. But this wee guy, I've kinda adopted as my own.

I may not have any blood siblings.

But I have tons of siblings in Christ.

And that's just as good or if not, even better.

I love being there for someone. 

It gives me the thrill of knowing that because of what I've done, I've made you happy at that particular moment. 

Sometimes this characteristic of mine makes people think does he (I) like that particular someone.

And more times than none, I do things for you because your my friend. I do it out of love.

And if I do something for you because I like you, then you'll know that I like you.

Sometimes I wonder if I compromise too much of myself for others.

But when I think about it, its what God does for us.

He puts us first.

And although I will never been on the same scale as God.

If I succeed in being a little bit like Him, then I'm doing something right.

I hope I am.

PS. I Love You.

RE: "Just Friends" Aye Right!

Before you proceed to read this entry, please click here to read the blog entry which my entry is a response to.

Anyways........

Some of the content I'd have to question slightly but overall I do agree and can see the points the writer is saying. 

But overall women are just bloody hard work!

At times I think, all's fair in love and game.

And for girls, they like playing the game don't they?

I've sure as hell been involved in meaningless games.

To come out of it the loser.

But dignified. 

They like the feeling which the boy is giving the girl.

And I guess who can blame them.

But I think there's a point where the girls can get too far which is...

To depend on him, take him for granted, and then think of him as your wee brother.

I have had friendships, relationships which have turned out like that.

And although I haven't liked every one of them girls.

It does happen to half the world's population.

A guy loves being depended on, I'll admit that.

But the stop line has to be drawn at some point.

When the girl sees something they like, they ask if you could buy it for them.

I guess I do that too, but at the end of the day, I tend to do that out of annoyance and more than less the time, I end up buying it myself.

But the girls are bloody wise as anything and wait until the boy buys it for her.

Not necessarily but a lot of time it is.

They ask you who you fancy...

And if the person you fancy is the one asking you the question, what do you say?

Do you be honest? or make up someone?

Something else which kinda annoys me at times is when they ask you if you like what your wearing.

More than the time, I'll give them my honest answer.

But to then drag it into a 'meaningful' conversation on the part of the lady, I bloody hate.

To me, if you like what your wearing, what does it matter about my opinions and others?

Just get something on.

I don't care.

I guess I'm the rational type. 

Black and White.

Hair as well.

Girls love being complimented on their hairstyle. 

Ooh did you get a haircut?

May look nice, but for me, it wouldn't matter if it was just up, all over the place look or the good few pounds you spent doing it do.

And when you argue with them, and when the dust is settled, they'll continue to hate you forever.

For a guy, I think the thing is forgotten about.

It is for me anyways.

But for a girl, they may say its forgotten, but its not too forgotten because they'll want to use it against you for future gain, or spite.

For petty arguments, girls can really make a big deal out of it. And if you find yourself in that situation boy, I feel its best you leave them, let them be. 

I feel a lot of the time, the guys are the diplomatic ones in the relationship because girls only care about themselves.

They are the world champions in sulking.

I think for a guy, the relationship revolves around both parties.

But for a girl, the relationship revolves around her and what she gets from it.

Is that a fair point?

Anyways a friend said to me recently, if you like someone, don't beat about the bush. Tell him or her as soon as.

The more you hang out with him or her, the more they'll accept you as a friend.

And more time than none, the friend becomes a good friend and then that's it.

Pointless exercise in hanging out with them, and paying for meals, being on the end of their tantrums, doing little favors for him or her, fixing things and driving them places.

Well enough lady bashing.

At the end of the day, I still love them.

They're just bloody hard to figure out, but nothing is easy. And women are the most difficult thing to suss. You might have degrees in rocket science and accountancy, but no one has worked out what the hell a women is thinking. Every man out there is trying to work out the formula. But to no avail.....

PS. I Love You.

Love Forgives the Bad In You.

I often wonder how well behaved my children will be.

Not that I have any children yet but I often feel a bit of dread when I know I have to be around certain babies, toddlers, infants and small children. Some are even more hyper than I am but most of the time, I remember to think that they're only children. They don't know what else to do but be kids.

Some kids I think, how can they're parents cope with all of it...

Then you have children with a disability or two.

They require more of your time, or even all of your time..

I hold those parents in high regard...

I wonder if I will be able to handle it all when my times arrives.

I watched Marley and Me yesterday. And if you haven't already seen it then I suggest that you do before they take it off the screens. But to give you a quick synopsis of what the movie is about is newlyweds starting their lives off as married people, and with it comes what careers to pick, where to go for jobs, what city they would like to live in, and children.

But the movie revolves around a dog called Marley. The newlyweds; John and Jenny Grogran (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston) has just decided to purchase a dog, well it was a birthday surprise from John to Jenny and they happen to pick the 'Clearance Puppy', that's Marley by the way. Don't ask me how the name 'Clearance Puppy' came about... I'm guessing because he looked a little lethargic when J and J went to visit the farm with the puppies, and the owner was selling him cheaper than the rest of his brothers and sisters. But 'Clearance Puppy' turned out to be more than they bargained for.

From the minute Marley walked into the house, he was eating, and chewing anything that looked edible to him. He even chewed on the plasterboard wall.

He just seemed as though he wasn't one to be taught. He just seemed too boisterous. Too hyper and too uncontrollable.

But I think the movie for me really kicks off when J and J decide to start a family. Unfortunately, their first attempt failed, the baby inside died within 9 weeks. But try and you will succeed, second time lucky and Jenny gives birth to a baby boy called Patrick.

A funny moment when Jenny brings baby Patrick home was that both of the parents, well mainly John I guess as it portrays him more worried than Jenny that Marley might think that baby Patrick as a chew toy. However that didn't happen and as Patrick grew up, Dog and child seemed to get along without any hassle for master slash parents.

As the movie progresses, another baby boy comes into the world called Connor. And probably a good few months after the birth of Connor, the marriage begins to strain. Jenny finds it difficult to cope with looking after her two boys and also be on the look out for anything Marley does. And one incident too many, Jenny confronts John when he comes home from work to demand that the dog be sent elsewhere. John thinks this is irrational but does agree to take the dog elsewhere, though John just sends Marley off to a friends for a couple of days. During which Jenny has second thoughts about Marley being away from what Jenny said as Marley's home.

This moment in the movie really spoke with me. Not that I've been in a position where I've had to kick someone out of my home, or I hope that my parents haven't wanted me out of theirs. But Jenny sees pass Marley's bad habits and behaviour and still loves her dog til death do them part. It was a moment in the movie where her relationship with husband seemed to be stormy and John had thoughts, small thoughts though of leaving the relationship. But one of them said to the other that leaving it wasn't right;

Mend it, don't end it.

Thankfully they worked it out and Marley was allowed back home, and the relationship appeared to be stronger than it was.

So moving along, another child enters the world. Baby Colleen.

What could a guy asked for? Jenny Grogan who is smoking hot. Looks like Jennifer Aniston by the way... hehe. And 3 kids. And a dog. You could say 4. And a fantansic home with a pool.

Brilliant. I would love to be in his position.

The one down point for him is that his job isn't his preffered although what he does, he's great at it. What was a temporary role as a columnist for a newspaper became permanent along with a two fold pay rise.

Things seemed to look rosy in the movie. The children grew up into small children, primary school age, Colleen was a little younger, maybe pre-school.

But as with all good things, they have to come to an end.

Unfortunately for Marley, he was well into his advanced years. Along with it came illness.

Marley survived one health scare and seemed as though he could live a lot more longer than he did.

The movie doesn't give you a timescale of when important occurences happened.

Marley just died.....

Something up with his stomach.

The decision was taken by John that Marley had to be enthanised such was the pain he was in I guess.

But the poignant moment in the movie is when Marley laid there on the table, about to be injected with the whatever it is to kill Marley off.

John contemplating life without Marley.

John reminiscing with Marley about the good times they had.

John tells his dog that although he may dubbed the 'worst dog' ever because of all the naughty things he's done.

None of that mattered anymore.

To John, to Jenny, to the children;

He was the perfect dog.

Marley closes his eyes..........

...............

He was buried outside the family home in a moving funeral.

I really felt as though Marley was part of me.

I watched him grow up.

I watched him be the dog that he became.

I loved him too.

But he wasn't. He was make believe.

oops.

He might have been a strain to their marriage, to the family, but love forgives and forgets the wrong in someone.

Like God does with us.

We don't always do what is asked of us, yet I'm sure God will still love us the same.

What a movie.

Go see it.

PS. I Love You.

When All Fails, Love Prevails.

Chris Martin of Coldplay said that "It's weird that whatever else is on your mind, whether it's the downfall of global economics or terrible environmental troubles, the thing that always gets you most is when you fancy someone"

What a quote!

It's so true.

Love does make you do some things you wouldn't do for the Average Joe.

I watched Paul Blart yesterday. It was alright. But the running sub-plot of the movie was this cop fancied this girl who ran a stall in the mall he looked out for. Before we blinked our eyes, he went from seeing this girl, to be almost intimate with her... kinda.

But the movie really takes off when the mall is been invaded by robbers and hostages have been taken in the bank within the mall. Paul Blart played by Kevin James is oblivious to this as he's in the arcade playing Guitar Hero and Singstar. Anyways when he leaves the arcade, he doesn't immediately realise that the mall is in the situation it's in, instead brushing it off as closing time. But when he notices a stray customer as he thought he was, until the so thought customer pulled a gun at him. But he got away.

Blah blah blah.... he managed to get out of the mall but noticing the car of the girl he fancied, he decides to risk his life to go and rescue her, and the hostages.

So on and so on. He does rescue her and his daughter, who some how manage to find herself in that situation... strange. 

Go watch it yourself. It's an okay movie.

But I think the theme of the story is gripping in how someone out of love, risks everything.

A bit like what Jesus did.

Though his risk was one which he had to bare for us.

Paul Blart's wasn't. He could have easily stayed outside, away from the troubles inside.

But instead he went back in and faced the troubles head on.

And sometimes I think, we don't face our troubles.

We like to just hope it will go away.........

Or even sometimes, some walk away from it.

And I'll give you that, sometimes, walking away from the situation is fine.

When I say walking away, I mean walk away but not far away that you won't walk back.

Step back is may be a better phrase.

But walking away...

Some say it's a cowards game.

The troubles lie inside, and if you don't do anything about it, it will eat away at you.

In this movie, if he didn't do anything about it, he wouldn't be seen as a hero in her eyes.

But in reality, we all have gripes hostage in our hearts. 

And only if you release the hostages do things start to look better.

It's only through love that you do so.

It's only through love that everything else prevails.

PS. I Love You.

Unrequited Love.

How come the most romantic things ever done have been done in movies so when, if you tried to reproduce it, the other half will say; how original? and in the movies, that person doesn't actually want to do those things in real life.

But I got a hold of Love Actually DVD in Christmas and I've actually not watched it up until now and though it think the movie isn't Richard Curtis' best (I prefer Notting Hill), there seems to be a developing trend in the movies that I've seen that he has written. And that is the pivotal scene...

In Notting Hill, the scene in which I believe tells the whole story is the scene where Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) stands in front of the boy, the man that she likes; William Thacker and sells her heart out. Up to this point they dated, comforted her, slept together, he'd had his heart broken because Anna is famous, and her love life is the stuff the papers write about and stuff. But at the end of the day, famous and all that, Anna is still just a girl. Standing in front of a boy. Asking him to love her.

And unfortunately for her, the "daft prick" William rejected her request.....

Though later realises his mistake and a mad dash across the poshest hotels in London, and he asks Anna to reconsider him, eventhough he had originally rejected her. 

Lovely moment, I love the movie.

And in Love Actually, although not pivotal but the one that stands out from all the other scenes is the scene in which Mark (Andrew Lincoln) portrays or a better word/s; declares his feelings to Juliet (Keira Knightley). And unfortunately for him, she is someone that he can't have. Up to this point, Juliet had requested video tapes of her wedding, in which Mark was the groom's best man. Because Mark is best friends with her husband, she had been trying hard to at least be nice to him, and if anything, Mark was being nasty, cold towards her. But his feelings for her weren't known until one day Juliet went round to his for the videotape and when she began to watch it, the contents were just close ups of her. And then the scene in which captured my imagination is the one where he declares his feelings for her in the form of words on a card, and a good few of them along with some funny ones in between. 

He set out "without hope or agenda" to tell her his feelings. And how after it, he has to move on. And that love is actually all around us. So when he had finished, he had walked a few yards from the door and Juliet runs and gives him a kiss.....

However as romantic as the whole thing may be, she did the right thing in fulfilling her marriage and ran back inside.

There he said Enough, enough now. 

He moves on.

A movie, and a short story if it were. Both have a similar theme.... Both about someone who, more times than none, you would love to be with, but their just too far out of reach. 

And if you look at my heading for this entry; Unrequited Love. 

It is the hardest thing.

For you to love someone but not have them love you back... sucks.

And I've not been in that situation many times, but even liking someone very very VERY much, but she just think your just a friend, or your just a wee brother or an older brother to me. It really hurts!!

I can say fortunately I haven't found myself in that situation many times, because for me, if I like someone, I could go on liking them for years and years. Like for example, a girl that I liked during my school years lasted from primary 7 up until S4 maybe.

I guess that was young love, stupid immature. Don't know the basics of love. But funny to look at when reminiscing. 

But giving up hope is the hardest thing to do.

I don't give up that easily with anything. Some say I may be stubborn, and I'd probably agree with them.

Maybe sometimes you gotta realise that when something isn't meant to be...

It isn't meant to be.

And the quicker you know it, the better.

No point in shoving a square peg in a round hole as they say.

I'm sure if something is meant to be, then give it time. It will happen in time.

We all want to be loved.

We all want to love someone.

But sometimes it's not the right time, not the right person...

Nothing ever happens the ways you want it to, especially in love.

I know I've had my fair share of disappointments in this area. 

But each one.

I've let go and I'll try again.....

Don't awaken love until it so desires.

PS. I Love You.

Admitting when your Wrong.

Before I start blogging the perils of wisdom that I normally regurgitate out of me, please note that this entry is in no way directed at anyone, but everyone. I guess there are people in my life that need to hear this more than others, but when you read it, choose to do whatever you like with it. 

I do not intend to offend, hurt or anything else negative.... 

So here goes....

If your reading this from Chinese eyes, you will know the silent treatment your parents give each other right?

And if your nasty, your probably giving the silent treatment to someone right now.

But I'm not sure if silence is always the best way to solve things.

Think, if there was no communication between the Allies and the Germans, will we still be in a World War situation?

And if we all kept quiet about the 'Credit Crunch', would we be out of it? Seems like every new headline, the economy gets worse and worse.

But sometimes I think silence is the best, however it shouldn't mean you sever the communication off completely.

Sometimes when you have hurt someone, and they aren't in the mood to speak to you, maybe its best if you give both yourselves time to digest the event.

Sometimes I think its best to say nothing at all.

Only you will know when its time to speak.

And you will know when its time to listen.

Whenever those times are, make sure these times do happen.

The longer you remain silent, the wounds get larger..

The longer you leave things sorted up, the more dust gathers on it. 

And if you think of dust as being of an amount of weight, and where you store your things is in a plastic bag which you carry about with you everywhere. 

Surgically attached.

That bag will burst at the seams. 

The longer the silence, the longer your pain hurts you.

Why drag it out?

Nothing is solved.

Talk to one another.

Be bold and courageous.

Make the first contact.

Be strong.

Either ways, try live life where you don't take any account of wrongdoings into the next day.

Forgive us our trespasses.

as I forgive those trespass against us.

I hate confrontation.

I hate the silent treatment.

Sort out your indifferencies between one another.

Don't store up anger.

PS. I Love You.

Shit does Happen.

I'll be honest with you, things have sort of troubled me in the past few days, well not troubled but has made me concerned and a bit saddened by it.

Don't want to talk about it here but what gets me through the night is my life morals:

Be a friend to everyone.

But don't expect everyone to be yours.

Don't go to sleep angry at anyone.

Tomorrow is a new day.

I might have to say sorry.

But you will never have to say sorry to me.

Anyways the events of the last night i.e. Comic Relief has refreshed my perspective in life as in how can I complain about things when there is millions of kids out in Africa who have to make a living and sleep in rubbish tips. How can we argue and get annoyed at the smallest of things when there's things like that, that happen. Kids who have spent 13 hours looking through rubbish just to find enough to sell in exchange for a meal, when they were whisked away to a children community centre, they said grace before their dinner. If the tables were turned, do you think we'd be so grateful? I know I won't. I'd be annoyed.

A VT that really got me is one where a widower was separated from her children for 7 years. She had to send her two children to live with relatives because the make shift shack she lived in was dangerous, could harbour diseases and she was HIV positive. I don't know how old her kids were, they were no more than 10, and to lose the years in which your children grow up is and im sure the toughest to lose. To miss your children's development would be too much for me to take, nevermind these people in Africa.

Malaria is a disease that kills so many in almost a blink of an eye, and to know that my five pounds could save someone's life in buying them a mosquito net makes me think what the hell do I spend my money on? Nothing useful anyways. My offering this week will go towards these projects which do their best to help those in need.

Things like these give me a kick in the arse in how I can be so ungrateful at times. If you didn't know, I had one of those (few) days yesterday, didn't tell many if at all. Sometimes I wish I could just walk away from it all. And being as head strong as I am, I would. Trade it all for a life of happiness. And unfortunately I'd have to say if I did, I'd be leaving all of you, everything I have. Because although it brings me happiness, its only momentarily. People say I should be happy cos I seem to have my shit together, I have this and that, and their right, I should be, but if anything, I'm content. But if you know me well, I'd trade all of my life's blessings for the joy that I have in my heart. The things that give me joy.

And unfortunately, I guess it's not my time yet...

In an abrasive mood.

PS. I Love You.

Shite Happens.

Today.

Eff this, eff that.

But on the plus side. Despite the credit crunch cloud we have over us, our nation has some very generous people.

Sighs...

Sometimes I don't really give a shit.

Sometimes its not even my fault.

Sometimes I don't know what it is I've done to deserve it.

Sometimes I don't know how it even happened.

Sometimes I don't know why I even bothered.

PS. I Love You.

The shit writes itself

I'm sure this friend of mine was queuing up at the intelligent line but somehow they closed it when they got to the front.

But this friend had weird tuna for dinner, because they thought it was from a dolphin.

And a tiger is the female mate of the lions.

Being on the earth for so many years, you'd think everyone and anyone who had an education would know that the earth is not flat and its round... like a ball.

And how come if your going down under, it takes forever and a day? (Half of that statement is true) How come they can't go a shorter way? Is there a shorter way?

And why is Africa so poor when its such a big country.....

Figure please folks.

PS. I Love You.

From Boys to Girls. Girls to Boys.

I always say to little boys that one day you will find girls not yucky and actually begin to like one.

I don't quite remember when I felt like that but I do remember the first girl who I remembered liking, maybe not in a "I want you as my girlfriend" way but just some girl who I thought was very pretty. This was when I was primary 2.... maybe too early to start liking girls.....

And then when I was primary 7, I liked this girl til I was secondary fourth year maybe..... She asked me to go the senior prom with her, which I did. Though at that time I don't think I liked her as much as I did before. But before that, I would use to buy her things every now and then, but scarcely. But I did buy her a rose one Valentine's day.

One girl came from afar and swept me off my feet. She was lovely. I had a crush. Looking back, it was childish. What were my feelings based on? looks? Definitely. I don't even know what kinda person she is. But I wrote her. Just weird "young love" but only on my part. She probably was thinking, why you doing this to me? If I were to see her again in a later day, I think I would drop down of embarrassment. It was so stupid.

And behind it all, I liked someone. Someone who I was always curious about but was never in a position to show that I liked her until one night I started texting her and then it began there. If you ask her, she won't admit to saying to me, she would go out with me if we were about the same age, but that was when I was still a kid. Didn't know what to do with comments like that. But I made my feelings known and then gave it a shot. Though it ran its course and she didn't like me as much I liked her. We moved on.

I was hanging with some friends tonight and we were talking about people we liked so on and so on. And I was thinking the exact same thing I said at the beginning of this entry. Well only instead of saying that, I was saying to myself, it wasn't long ago that I used to hate girls. 

In the earlier years, such topics will be like a faux pas subject and I guess it still is but not as cringe worthy as it was before.

I know from asking the little boys in church "who's your girlfriend? is it so and so?". And they immediately say "ewwww. I don't have one" or "it's so and so's girlfriend" Trying to avert the question away from them.

I believe the theory is true, if the boy is nasty to a girl, then maybe that boy likes her.

A playful punch here.

A rub on the shoulders there.

And if a girl likes a boy, she must find out everything there is to know about him.

A twist of your hair here.

A meeting with your girlfriends there.

I don't really know the reason for this entry but I know I have been in a sort of love romantic period. 

Too many chick flicks.

I thought I'd share my love life with you all.

and I have.

PS. I Love You.

This is Me.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too tempered.

Being the only child, I think I did tend to get my way. And even now at my age I still and probably even worse than younger that I go beyond means to make sure I get what I want.

Like for example, buying my flat wasn't without its difficulties in persuading my parents to part with the cash but in the end, they both feel very happy about it even though they seem to be dead certain against the idea. And it didn't help having family members saying what a bad idea it was too.

I can understand their concerns but goodness I felt this was too good an opportunity to not seize and would leave me with sleepless nights until we at least put in an offer for the flat.

You should all know that I got it. 

But what I'm thinking about is almost how selfish I was in persuading my parents to buy it. I don't think I went in a strop, I know I would have words to say to family members if they had questioned my reasons, and a lot of them for that matter. I could only see buying this flat was a positive thing, and it is but the risks involved didn't even come into my thinking. 

I wanted my own way.

I think I'm a strong minded person, when I set out to do something, I will more than less the time get that thing done. Whatever barriers and constraints, I will with my might smash through them to achieve what I've set out to do.

And you might think what's the problem then? The problem is I'm quite stubborn, if I feel something I'm doing is right, but someone disagree, I really couldn't care, although respect their opinions but continue with what I'm doing. And that's bad.....

A long time ago, a person from a missions team came over to Glasgow and on our way back from camp, this person said to me, Raymond you have a lot of authority around you. You can command a lot from the people around you. To me that meant a nicer way of saying "Your demanding". 

And no one wants to be the demanding bossy type do they?

At that time, I think I was about 13, still stupid, very unintelligent. Didn't know what to do with the comment. But I was assured that it was meant in a good way, and I have taken it in a good way.

But sometimes I wonder, is my "commanding" and "authority" put me in a good light with the people I supposedly have authority over?

What are my friends thinking when I say this and that and that's that?

I do think I have a sort of leader, dominate male thing in me and when going into the unknown, I think I always try put my neck on the line first. I don't fear trepidation.

I'm not the strongest, but I think my willingness gets me through.

And honestly, I feel sometimes I have the last word between my friends...... correct me if I'm wrong.

But yeah.

I need to listen as well as walk on my own way......

PS. I Love You.

Signed off Facebook

If your here wondering what the hell has happened to my Facebook, you've come to the right place.

Well, I have my reasons. 

Addictive being another.

It is just temporary so be sure to welcome me back when I return.

Bye.

PS. I Love You.

"Giving is good. As long as you're getting" Spice Girls. Should we only give when we get?

A slight criticism of c7 if it were is their importance in having a short talk like before the offering buckets are passed around. And when the pastor or who ever it is speaking say- OK I'm going to pray for every giver now- which by the way I think they should rephrase that. What if I didn't give that week or at all? we won't get prayed for? Anyways.

I've never seen offering as something which needed to be talked about in the manner that it is in c7 for me personally because I have always given when I can. I know that's not the case with everyone so I guess the reminder is there.... And since I've been baptised from Christmas 2005, I've given the minimum 10% of my wages or income to church as my tithe. I wouldn't say I particularly love doing it but I know that whatever I have, that it doesn't belong to me. So giving my 10% of my income is nothing if you think about it. 

Money has been hard to come by in the last year and when I was out of my job, I'd be lying if I said I continued to give to the church. Instead I wasted a lot of "rainy day for the wife" money. When you think about it even if you don't have an income from a job, I still every now and then received some money from other sources, i.e. parents. And if in all honesty, whatever your given, you should give 10% of it to the church or wherever you please. And I tell you why I say all this.

Well I don't know but lately the blessings in the last few weeks kind off coincide with me giving to the church 10% of all my financial income. And I guess its not a fair comparison when you have Chinese New Year as well during the last couple of weeks but I really do feel like that whatever I've given, I've kind off got back. 

The other day, I spent money on a scarf and a pair of trousers. In doing so, I had finished up the previous week's earnings. Had to pay for some essential items which is given but the scarf, but more particularly the trousers were an unnecessary spend. Anyways I spent £40 on the two items which is no bad but considering my financial position at the moment is quite a lot of money and it sort of left me disheartened down to my own self. So I had no money really left in my wallet and I felt a bit crap that in a week, I hadn't managed to save up anything. But God is good in that the next day when I was at work, my Mum's boss deliberately came round to the shop where I was working, totally oblivious to who this guy was and handed me 2x £10 in a red pocket. Shocked at the time, still am in many ways because we've never met but I know from Mum that the job she has there has really been God's blessing because as much as she's an employee there, she doesn't have to do much but just make up the numbers as it were. And the boss is really nice to all the employees. And their families. But yeah, thank you God for giving me that twenty quid. And throughout this Chinese New Year period, I've been given money from unexpected and unknown people to me but I see this as more as God's blessings rather than good fortune. And again I don't know if this spate of getting financially has anything to do with me giving, but I hope so because I know that whatever I'm giving, it's helping the church in some way. And again whatever I'm giving is God's anyway. He's just lending to me, and I'm giving it back a bit at a time. But we will never be able to pay back the debt that is owed. But thankfully God doesn't demand that of us otherwise we'd be here for literally millions and millions and millions of years.

But I challenge you if your reading this to tithe your financial income. I don't promise anything will happen overnight or even at all. But remember that what we get, doesn't belong to us. 

So what's a few pounds between friends eh?

PS. I Love You.

Who is the most beautiful girl in the world?

Last Sunday, I went to C7 and there I was subjected to the every now and then C7 at Hollywood. It's my second time at such a service, and this time the subject movie was "The Bucket List". 

The story is about two middle aged men being told they had at the most a year left to live because of cancer and their chances of remission was at best- slim. So before they entering the pearly gates as its sometimes known as, they set out to accomplish or see or do something worth while before that time comes. And what really sold the movie to me was a part right near the end of the movie.

The way the sermon goes at C7, it didn't feel like it was anywhere near the end but anyways still had to buy it because of a scene.

The two men Carter (Morgan Freeman) and Edward (Jack Nicholson), both from very different backgrounds. Carter was a car mechanic and Edward was a corporate billionaire and the very hospital he laid in was one of his monopoly. So having spent x amount of days at hospital, they begin to communicate with each other, they didn't get off to the best of starts as Edward was wanting a private room, but had to settle with sharing a room with Carter. As the days passed they got to know each other and they started small, playing cards with each other. 

Anyways one night Carter began to "scribble", as he put it, a list of things he wants to do before he passes. A "bucket list" as its known, why? its phrase to kick the bucket i.e. your life. Kick the (your life), accepting defeat in the quest to live...... i think. But if i'm correct in remember, Carter begins to write a few things do before being informed of some bad news, to which he throws the list on the ground.

Tom (Sean Hayes) who is Edward's assistant finds this list as he was picking up rubbish from the floor and Edward asks to see it as he recognises it as the paper that Carter was "scribbling" on. And when he sees this, the things that Carter has written on it seem a bit mundane compared to the crazy fun stuff Edward has in mind of doing, like skydiving. So the two of them decide to get together to achieve their desires before they die.

Things like: driving a mustang, see the world, all sorts of things but the one thing which topped the whole movie for me was the desire to:

"Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world"

Immediately you'd think of the most hot celebrity there is, and I'm no different. I'm still thinking who'd celebrity wise I'd wanna kiss.

But as the film meanders to an end, Carter loses the battle, while Edward somehow manages to win the fight. In doing so, he has great respect for the man who as he said gave him the best months of his life, in the few months they had known each other.

Something which I hadn't mentioned up until now is that Edward has a daughter, however communication between the two has been long gone but Carter before he died, wanted Edward to find his daughter and to salvage the relationship which to his credit Edward did, but had Carter not died, would the story end the way it did.

Anyways the name of this entry is "Who is the most beautiful girl in the world?"

As I've said, the desire to kiss the most beautiful girl in the world was on the bucket list, and as Edward saw his daughter for the first time in a very long time, he was introduced to his granddaughter to which he hadn't been aware of. He gave her a kiss and embraced her. Thereafter the picture is of him scoring out "kiss the most beautiful girl in the world".

I have been thinking ever since the movie? Who should be the most beautiful girl in my life?

Would it be my Girlfriend? 

Would it be my Wife? 

Would it be my Daughter? 

Would it be my Granddaughter?

Tough one eh?

But in context of the movie, its fitting how he should meet his granddaughter and then score "kiss the most beautiful girl in the world" out.

Our One month anniversary

Strange to see that the last time I posted was..... years ago. 

So much has happened since the last time I blogged, much blessings have come my way and who do I thank? The One above.

If you didn't already know, under my persuasion, I managed to convince my parents to buy me a flat in Glasgow, and throughout the month of December, life evolved round that. The first half, I was still at college but every interval I was on the phone to the estate agent or the solicitor about something. And when college finished for the year, a week went by like time had just grinded to a halt, and the wait to get keys was just oh so long. But when I did get keys (22nd December). Christmas had truly come early for me. Such was the excitement that the lost relaxation time is really beginning to kick in.

A month has gone by now and I've been back at college for about 3 weeks, and every morning, my alarm is set off for 0750, but everytime I dismiss it and sleep until the latest 0815. I think to myself, before I moved out, I used to have to wake up almost an hour earlier to catch the bus or drive to college and it seemed a lot easier with that added pressure as it were, but now that I can walk to college within 20mins, I'm a lot lazier. Though am I just getting old and lost valuable resting hours during the holidays?

Normally these days I'm sleeping at 0100, getting up around 0800 so 7hrs. In the past thats been more than enough, but now........ far from enough. arrrrgh

Anyways having an abode in Glasgow is truly a blessing and I'm forever thankful for it and its contents.

To the people who have contributed in some way, I am forever grateful to you.

The time, effort and lack of rest has been worth it to get my flat to the way it is at this present moment, Still awaiting certain items, they will come in due course. 

But overall, its great and I'd do it all over again.....

As soul destroying it can be at times without the home comforts I am so used to at home, I wouldn't change this month for another. 

Bring on the second month and all its baggage.

Thank you friend(s), you know who you are.

again, forever thankful.