For you avid reader, I apologise for the radio silence..

It's not like nothings happened since I last blogged but that I just didn't document it..

But I want to write again because I find writing, whether it be handwritten or typed to be quite therapeutic.

I want to write here because I know it is almost a safe haven where I can share my feelings without it being made into almost public news.

I am going to be explicit.

I think I normally beat about the bush.

But let's not waste your time or mine trying to decipher what I am about to say..



The truth is, there is a yearning in me for someone.

And this person, I've gotten to know a bit during the period that I've been away from home.

She is such a fantastic example of what a great human being ought to be.

Very down to earth, sensitive, caring and the whole lot.

All of her qualities make her so attractive.

Basically, she makes me want to be a better person.

She really is everything and more.



However...

Have I left it too late?

Are we now in the 'friend zone'?

Realistically, would she even consider me?

Especially with my idiosyncrasies and bad humour...

Would I consider me?

These feelings that I have been having are only just beginning to surface..

I've always found her qualities very attractive yet I wasn't interested in her in that way until recently.

I guess the more I hung out with her and the more I knew about her, the intrigue of her deepened.

The more she made me laugh, the more I thought-

She's gotta be in for a shout.



I think I've been careful with how I've conducted myself with her.

I've been nice and all that.

Tried to just be myself and make her and everyone laugh-

Thats me.

But I don't want to give her the sniff that I like her yet..

I don't know when and if I should..


I feel at times that she is someone that is beyond my reach.

I feel at times that something is hindering me from even approaching the subject with her.

I know that this is not the time.

When will it be?

Yet if I don't say now,

will someone else say?

Will someone else get there before me?


I have to admit, it is tough playing this patience game.

It really hurts.

Because like I said, if I don't get in there, someone else could and will.

How could someone else not see and like her qualities....


It really hurts!


Unfortunately, I don't think this is the time just yet..

But could someone make it their time?


Dilemma...


I just hope that by trusting in God's perfect timing and plan for me that He will lead me to the one.

Whether it be her...

or someone else.

This is no April Fool's.

It's real.

PS. I Love You.