Well I thought for some reason that I'd open up a
blogspot on the way home from the cinema. Why? I have a
xanga.
Yeh but its kinda kiddish for me now so a
blogspot it is.
So what will I be blogging about for my first entry....
Greed, money and greed. And probably other stuff chucked in there.
The last couple of weeks have been, I wouldn't say tough, wouldn't say hard or anything negative. Just a strange sort of couple of week. The first half I was studied like mad for a resit in the latter half, in between sandwiched moments helping Jenni move home, and doing DIY for her. As a result my second week has been almost all property thinking. I've view some properties, most of which have me licking my lips. And this coming week, will be more viewing as well. So much arranging for a look that its taken over my much needed studying because I have another resit this Tuesday. But hopefully I'll be fine for that.
But what's the reason for blogging this. Well the last couple of weeks at church, I felt nearly spoken to personally. Which is a good thing I think, but because it spoke to me, it made me think how do I apply it to my life, my arrogant self centred life. So if you don't know then the last two topics covered at GCCC has been jealously and greed. I established that I have never been the jealous type. I am always happy for someone's good fortune, however a lot of the times I feel like I want some of that good fortune. So I said to Gordon C that I'm not a jealous type, but I admit I'm every envious of other people's things almost. Like for example, Jenni has just moved into her own flat and when I helped her move and found out how much her flat costed, made my desire for a property sky high! I've always wanted a property in Glasgow, and especially with the economy as it is just now, now is about the time to invest in such a thing. Anyways her moving into her own place made me want to get a place of my own..... but not me paying. haha. But I'm very much happy for her as Gordon said in his sermon, that we should celebrate in people's achievements, good fortune and the lot. So if I do, does that make me jealous? I thought I was more envious than jealous, but apparently according to Gordon, he said their both the same. Anyways that was that for last week's church and went back to life, thinking much too about property and last week I visited 4 properties. I got to say after viewing the first one, I was very disappointed. The whole thing was almost nothing! And to add a spanner to the works, my extended family isn't for the idea of buying another property because of the financial climate we the world find ourselves in. But then the next three really got me dreaming more than ever! I just feel so tempted. To be honest, buying a property is 40/60. More chance of it not happening than, and just viewing makes me crave something that ultimately I wouldn't get the final word in for. I've twice talked my mother into it, and she's sitting on the fence because she watches the telly and the world is saying that this is the time to invest, house prices are falling. But in the other hand, she wants to keep her sisters happy by not buying anything.
Anyways today Gordon talked about greed, and it almost dawned on me immediately that I'm a greedy person. To defend myself I wouldn't say I'm greedy with my possessions, if someone needed something I have, I'd more than less the time give it to them. I try give to charity, most of the time do. I don't have much money, but I can afford to give here and there without second thinking. So why am I greedy you might wonder. Well this whole obtaining a property. To be honest, truthfully, I'd be happy with or without one. I'm very comfortable where I am in terms of location, geography. However as you all know, I live at least 20miles South of Glasgow so commuting to and fro is tiring. However I do love that I live far away, somewhere quieter than Glasgow. So the reason I want a property is so I can stay there whilst I study, have pals over to my place because I'm always at yours because of geograpy, and once I finish studying, it can provide an income for my parents. But in all honesty I can live without one. But why is it that if I'm not thinking of obtaining one, I almost go into a strop? Well like I said earlier, I'm greedy. From going to GCCC and C7 today, both almost identically sermons, both about greed, GCCC more though than C7 but both mentioning getting stuff that isn't ultimately necessary in life.... kinda. In GCCC, a couple of things really stood out for me. First Gordon mentioned that he has some book collection and that if he lent them to a friend, he'd make sure he gets it back in the condition that it left his house, and if it wasn't returned to him in the state he last saw it, he'd go ape or something along those lines. And I thought to myself I am the exact same, however of late, I've began to change. I lent something to someone and when I got it back, I wasn't too pleased about the state that it came back to me and a couple of people mentioned it and I agreed. But almost a quick did you no look after it? it turned into life goes on. Would be petty to get uptight about it, its not the end of the world. And I have to thank God that He's changed this in me as in the past, I would have probably gone ape. But life has taught me that things like that can't and shouldn't even occupy a seconds thought, so much other important things to worry about. I always think these days that whatever man has done to wrong you, can't be as bad as what man has done to God. So think about it folks.
Secondly, I thought and established that I'm greedy, why can't as Gordon tells us to reallocate. What he said, if I remember correctly is to reallocate your wealth...... He said to us, to find someones passion, all you need to do is to see what they spend their money on.... I think. Anyways I thought to myself, what do I spend a lot of money on............... Mobile phones! Don't have exactly tons, but I do pay £30 a month, and for someone who is living on what they have saved in the last few years, which is now at pennies and also now that I'm a student, is a lot of money. And you know what, that £30 is best spent elsewhere but it is a vice and I always relent to it. So how does this tie in with the property and greed thing?
Well later on the day, evening to be precise, went to C7 church which I have been doing for the last two weeks and I got to say that its brilliant. I love the church there and thats something I wouldn't normally be in a position to say. I believe in unity and loyalty so for me to farm myself of to another church is almost against my beliefs but gave it a shot last week and have never looked back. Off in a tangent there, back now. You know I crave this thing that isn't ultimately mine, only God can give you it if He so desires that I almost feel like there is no point desiring this thing that wouldn't make me that much happier to be honest. Would certainly be more convenient but I'd be just as happy with or without it. But I don't know why when I say there is no point desiring it, that my heart still longs for it. It is just a phase and I know that if I don't get something within the next couple of months that I can forget it, because the novelty of having a property will have died down. I will always have that wish of obtaining a property however it is only because of my envious eyes and greedy heart that I really want one now!
Tonight I did something that I haven't done in a while, and not that I've beat myself about it but I gave an offering. Was more for a charity though but I felt compelled to give even when I am not financially getting. Though God's provisions and blessings are far more valuable than the bit of paper which isn't worth the amount it says its worth. However everything is from our God and we are thankful.
I end with a couple of verses, which was kinda given to me this week by a friend, and it is in Philippians 4: 10-13 and it goes:
" I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength "
Amen.
