From Boys to Girls. Girls to Boys.

I always say to little boys that one day you will find girls not yucky and actually begin to like one.

I don't quite remember when I felt like that but I do remember the first girl who I remembered liking, maybe not in a "I want you as my girlfriend" way but just some girl who I thought was very pretty. This was when I was primary 2.... maybe too early to start liking girls.....

And then when I was primary 7, I liked this girl til I was secondary fourth year maybe..... She asked me to go the senior prom with her, which I did. Though at that time I don't think I liked her as much as I did before. But before that, I would use to buy her things every now and then, but scarcely. But I did buy her a rose one Valentine's day.

One girl came from afar and swept me off my feet. She was lovely. I had a crush. Looking back, it was childish. What were my feelings based on? looks? Definitely. I don't even know what kinda person she is. But I wrote her. Just weird "young love" but only on my part. She probably was thinking, why you doing this to me? If I were to see her again in a later day, I think I would drop down of embarrassment. It was so stupid.

And behind it all, I liked someone. Someone who I was always curious about but was never in a position to show that I liked her until one night I started texting her and then it began there. If you ask her, she won't admit to saying to me, she would go out with me if we were about the same age, but that was when I was still a kid. Didn't know what to do with comments like that. But I made my feelings known and then gave it a shot. Though it ran its course and she didn't like me as much I liked her. We moved on.

I was hanging with some friends tonight and we were talking about people we liked so on and so on. And I was thinking the exact same thing I said at the beginning of this entry. Well only instead of saying that, I was saying to myself, it wasn't long ago that I used to hate girls. 

In the earlier years, such topics will be like a faux pas subject and I guess it still is but not as cringe worthy as it was before.

I know from asking the little boys in church "who's your girlfriend? is it so and so?". And they immediately say "ewwww. I don't have one" or "it's so and so's girlfriend" Trying to avert the question away from them.

I believe the theory is true, if the boy is nasty to a girl, then maybe that boy likes her.

A playful punch here.

A rub on the shoulders there.

And if a girl likes a boy, she must find out everything there is to know about him.

A twist of your hair here.

A meeting with your girlfriends there.

I don't really know the reason for this entry but I know I have been in a sort of love romantic period. 

Too many chick flicks.

I thought I'd share my love life with you all.

and I have.

PS. I Love You.

This is Me.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too tempered.

Being the only child, I think I did tend to get my way. And even now at my age I still and probably even worse than younger that I go beyond means to make sure I get what I want.

Like for example, buying my flat wasn't without its difficulties in persuading my parents to part with the cash but in the end, they both feel very happy about it even though they seem to be dead certain against the idea. And it didn't help having family members saying what a bad idea it was too.

I can understand their concerns but goodness I felt this was too good an opportunity to not seize and would leave me with sleepless nights until we at least put in an offer for the flat.

You should all know that I got it. 

But what I'm thinking about is almost how selfish I was in persuading my parents to buy it. I don't think I went in a strop, I know I would have words to say to family members if they had questioned my reasons, and a lot of them for that matter. I could only see buying this flat was a positive thing, and it is but the risks involved didn't even come into my thinking. 

I wanted my own way.

I think I'm a strong minded person, when I set out to do something, I will more than less the time get that thing done. Whatever barriers and constraints, I will with my might smash through them to achieve what I've set out to do.

And you might think what's the problem then? The problem is I'm quite stubborn, if I feel something I'm doing is right, but someone disagree, I really couldn't care, although respect their opinions but continue with what I'm doing. And that's bad.....

A long time ago, a person from a missions team came over to Glasgow and on our way back from camp, this person said to me, Raymond you have a lot of authority around you. You can command a lot from the people around you. To me that meant a nicer way of saying "Your demanding". 

And no one wants to be the demanding bossy type do they?

At that time, I think I was about 13, still stupid, very unintelligent. Didn't know what to do with the comment. But I was assured that it was meant in a good way, and I have taken it in a good way.

But sometimes I wonder, is my "commanding" and "authority" put me in a good light with the people I supposedly have authority over?

What are my friends thinking when I say this and that and that's that?

I do think I have a sort of leader, dominate male thing in me and when going into the unknown, I think I always try put my neck on the line first. I don't fear trepidation.

I'm not the strongest, but I think my willingness gets me through.

And honestly, I feel sometimes I have the last word between my friends...... correct me if I'm wrong.

But yeah.

I need to listen as well as walk on my own way......

PS. I Love You.

Signed off Facebook

If your here wondering what the hell has happened to my Facebook, you've come to the right place.

Well, I have my reasons. 

Addictive being another.

It is just temporary so be sure to welcome me back when I return.

Bye.

PS. I Love You.

"Giving is good. As long as you're getting" Spice Girls. Should we only give when we get?

A slight criticism of c7 if it were is their importance in having a short talk like before the offering buckets are passed around. And when the pastor or who ever it is speaking say- OK I'm going to pray for every giver now- which by the way I think they should rephrase that. What if I didn't give that week or at all? we won't get prayed for? Anyways.

I've never seen offering as something which needed to be talked about in the manner that it is in c7 for me personally because I have always given when I can. I know that's not the case with everyone so I guess the reminder is there.... And since I've been baptised from Christmas 2005, I've given the minimum 10% of my wages or income to church as my tithe. I wouldn't say I particularly love doing it but I know that whatever I have, that it doesn't belong to me. So giving my 10% of my income is nothing if you think about it. 

Money has been hard to come by in the last year and when I was out of my job, I'd be lying if I said I continued to give to the church. Instead I wasted a lot of "rainy day for the wife" money. When you think about it even if you don't have an income from a job, I still every now and then received some money from other sources, i.e. parents. And if in all honesty, whatever your given, you should give 10% of it to the church or wherever you please. And I tell you why I say all this.

Well I don't know but lately the blessings in the last few weeks kind off coincide with me giving to the church 10% of all my financial income. And I guess its not a fair comparison when you have Chinese New Year as well during the last couple of weeks but I really do feel like that whatever I've given, I've kind off got back. 

The other day, I spent money on a scarf and a pair of trousers. In doing so, I had finished up the previous week's earnings. Had to pay for some essential items which is given but the scarf, but more particularly the trousers were an unnecessary spend. Anyways I spent £40 on the two items which is no bad but considering my financial position at the moment is quite a lot of money and it sort of left me disheartened down to my own self. So I had no money really left in my wallet and I felt a bit crap that in a week, I hadn't managed to save up anything. But God is good in that the next day when I was at work, my Mum's boss deliberately came round to the shop where I was working, totally oblivious to who this guy was and handed me 2x £10 in a red pocket. Shocked at the time, still am in many ways because we've never met but I know from Mum that the job she has there has really been God's blessing because as much as she's an employee there, she doesn't have to do much but just make up the numbers as it were. And the boss is really nice to all the employees. And their families. But yeah, thank you God for giving me that twenty quid. And throughout this Chinese New Year period, I've been given money from unexpected and unknown people to me but I see this as more as God's blessings rather than good fortune. And again I don't know if this spate of getting financially has anything to do with me giving, but I hope so because I know that whatever I'm giving, it's helping the church in some way. And again whatever I'm giving is God's anyway. He's just lending to me, and I'm giving it back a bit at a time. But we will never be able to pay back the debt that is owed. But thankfully God doesn't demand that of us otherwise we'd be here for literally millions and millions and millions of years.

But I challenge you if your reading this to tithe your financial income. I don't promise anything will happen overnight or even at all. But remember that what we get, doesn't belong to us. 

So what's a few pounds between friends eh?

PS. I Love You.