Wednesday 29th July 2009.
The day had started off like any other day, and like the other two before it, Ling and I got up around 0930hrs, though she had been feeling unwell throughout the night so I'm not entirely sure about how many hours of sleep she has got. Not much I'm guessing as I often witnessed her getting up from the lying down position. And apparently my snoring is very loud...
Anyways we went down for breakfast soon after and Ling had said the night before that she wasn't going to eat anything apart from congee for breakfast... but she had that as well as four steamed "baus" (buns). Might as well since its buffet breakfast...
Once breakfast was done with, we went back to our room to pack our luggage and to check out before midday. Nothing exciting so far...
Anyways once we'd checked out of our hotel, we had a couple of hours to kill, in which we had decided to go obtain a dress that Ling had bought the night before but for her sister..
Unfortunately for me, she had spent her last Ringgits (Malaysian currency) on the hotel and the taxi to the airport, so I was left to pay for Ling's shopping spree.
She guilt tripped me!
So I bought her a dress,
a watch,
some travel band thing,
and something else....
I'll not say what that something else is, but before your mind goes wondering, its nothing dirty but something personal and essential..
Anyways at 1400hrs, we had to be back to our hotel to get our taxi to the airport. The taxi turned out to be a mini van.. And beforehand, I was wondering why our trip to the airport was cheaper than the other way around... Was it because it wasn't air conditioned? Anyway it was so yeh!
Got to the airport, checked in, Ling's luggage was overweight, her impressions of what one kg or any amount were totally out... She thought her little bag of cables and two 500ml bottles of water weighed at least 4kg but when I went to weigh it, it was only 1.5kg. But anyways she eventually got through. She just had to make heavy her hand carry. Went to have McDonalds for a late lunch. Ling had been a little bit moany at the beginning of lunch but better as the meal progressed. Finished lunch, boarded our flight, flight was delayed for about a half hour, got to Kuala Lumpur, checked into my massively small hotel room.. used the toilet, sink was leaking, allocated a new room, unpacked, showered and pretty much soon after, we went back to the airport.
So as Ling checked in, I managed to connect to the free wifi at the airport, checked my Facebook and one of my college friends had written that the results of first year had been sent to him.. I became a little anxious as to what lays at home when I return... I'm not expecting a great result and I felt a little worried of what the future will bring.
Anyways Ling came running back towards me to get her keys to the luggage, as again she was overweight, but this time only by one kg. But she got there in the end and thereafter we decided where to have our last supper.. There wasn't much to choose from and Ling wanted something oriental. But my appetite had gone, or I wasn't hungry but we finally settled on this coffee house called Old Town and throughout our holiday in Penang, we near enough went to one of the branches every day as it offer their customers free wifi. And Ling thought I wanted to go there so I can go online (as I can't live without the net as she says). In some levels Ling was right, I did want to go online, but not badly. But when I got there, it suddenly came out....
Tears....
I cried in this coffee house because Ling, my big sister was leaving me.
I'm normally made of steel and I don't cry often but in the midst of strangers, Ling to my left, I made my feelings clear that I'd miss her much.
I weeped...
People must have looked at me thinking what's happening to him? Has Ling told me some bad news?
Anyways I kinda used up all the tissues that Ling had given me to wipe away my tears, so I went to buy her some at the shop. Whilst there I also found a heat pack for her back as she complained of it being sore. So being the brother that I am to her, I bought her a pack. Got back to her and Ling had taken a bite of what was supposed to be Kaya Toast, but in my moment in sorrow, I had ticked the wrong box...
Sighs....
Either way, it was edible but I didn't eat it. I was really down because the sudden realisation that Ling is going. She eventually gave way to, seeing me cry made her cry too...
But trying to hold up the ship, we also tried to make each other laugh as well.
Anyways got to 2230hrs, we decided that she have to make her way to the gate....
I helped her with her luggage one last time and we hugged, and I said a short prayer as we hugged. And then I walked her to until I could not go any further...
I watched her go.
She looked back a few times.
I didn't look at anything other than her and once she got to the escalator up..
I waved.
She waved.
Bye Bye...
Thinking back to the last events is making me emotional, but holding up my guard, I think of the good things about Ling. Often we joked about leaving the nasty, the moany side of each other which in ways is good... But for me, her negative ways are only momentarily and that its just what people are like.
Were moany, and were nasty...
For me, the last few years I've gotten to know Ling quite well, she'd tell me things and vice versa. I was there for her through her bad times, but also shared happy times. But what really sums it for me is that Ling was like a big sister to me. I often refer to her as 'dai jeh jeh', following the rest of her family in what they called Ling, and this stuck.
Although we aren't, we annoyed each other, and enjoyed each other's company like if we were really siblings.
I don't have real life siblings and for me to adopt her as my big sister, I chose the right girl.
Not that Ling needed any other brothers but I sure treated her like my own and vice versa.
Guys often like doing things for girls and for me, it really depends on who that girl is?
Is it family? Is it the girl that you like? or is it my mum?
But with Ling, I found myself helping her more times than none. I'd always try to be there for her. She was my fragile sister that I try to take care of...
But on the night of Wednesday 29th July 2009, I said to her before she went;
Look after yourself Ling, I won't be there to look after you.
I actually don't remember if I said it like that, but what I said, that's what I mean, and if your reading this Ling, please remind me if you remember.
But that night is made sad because I can't be there for her in Australia. Not that I want to follow her but that I want to know that she is doing well and also help her if she needed.
But Ling has gone to new pastures and I really hope she does make it down under.
My general demeanour about this whole thing is that Ling will be back home before she, I, and you'll know it. But I finally said to her a bit before she left that my head thinks that but my heart wants her to flourish, and she felt she wasn't doing that back in Glasgow.
I'm finally letting her go.
As I write this entry, I really miss her and please before your mind wonders, our friendship was pure platonic.
I often say that in times when she wants me to do something for her, I almost feel like that I'm holding her hand in it, and that if she doesn't feel comfortable in a situation and if I happen to be there, I'll hold her hand and ride out the storm with her.
Not literally of course.
Though sometimes we'd grab onto each other's wrists as we crossed the road in Malaysia. The traffic is pedestrian unfriendly. Me being me, I always make sure I was the first one to be hit/ knocked down should a car hit us.
There's the side of me that wants to protect her too, and whilst we are in different worlds, I can't do that anymore..
I don't generally give Ling much credit but on this migration to Australia, she has often amazed me in how resilient she can be..
She sure doesn't show it back at home but I guess when no one is there to do it for her, she has to do it on her own.
We have been freed from our duties of helping Ling if you ever had any.
But I don't know you.
But I know me.
I know that one of life's greatest joys is helping people, and I believe all the little insignificant things I've ever done for her, she'll remember at least one or two and say;
Raymond; a good guy.
If I manage to make everyone think that, then I'd die happily.
Well Ling, my dai jeh jeh;
I miss you so much.
Wherever you are in the world, I'm sending you my love.
Safe journeys.
x
PS. I Love You.
