Shit does Happen.

I'll be honest with you, things have sort of troubled me in the past few days, well not troubled but has made me concerned and a bit saddened by it.

Don't want to talk about it here but what gets me through the night is my life morals:

Be a friend to everyone.

But don't expect everyone to be yours.

Don't go to sleep angry at anyone.

Tomorrow is a new day.

I might have to say sorry.

But you will never have to say sorry to me.

Anyways the events of the last night i.e. Comic Relief has refreshed my perspective in life as in how can I complain about things when there is millions of kids out in Africa who have to make a living and sleep in rubbish tips. How can we argue and get annoyed at the smallest of things when there's things like that, that happen. Kids who have spent 13 hours looking through rubbish just to find enough to sell in exchange for a meal, when they were whisked away to a children community centre, they said grace before their dinner. If the tables were turned, do you think we'd be so grateful? I know I won't. I'd be annoyed.

A VT that really got me is one where a widower was separated from her children for 7 years. She had to send her two children to live with relatives because the make shift shack she lived in was dangerous, could harbour diseases and she was HIV positive. I don't know how old her kids were, they were no more than 10, and to lose the years in which your children grow up is and im sure the toughest to lose. To miss your children's development would be too much for me to take, nevermind these people in Africa.

Malaria is a disease that kills so many in almost a blink of an eye, and to know that my five pounds could save someone's life in buying them a mosquito net makes me think what the hell do I spend my money on? Nothing useful anyways. My offering this week will go towards these projects which do their best to help those in need.

Things like these give me a kick in the arse in how I can be so ungrateful at times. If you didn't know, I had one of those (few) days yesterday, didn't tell many if at all. Sometimes I wish I could just walk away from it all. And being as head strong as I am, I would. Trade it all for a life of happiness. And unfortunately I'd have to say if I did, I'd be leaving all of you, everything I have. Because although it brings me happiness, its only momentarily. People say I should be happy cos I seem to have my shit together, I have this and that, and their right, I should be, but if anything, I'm content. But if you know me well, I'd trade all of my life's blessings for the joy that I have in my heart. The things that give me joy.

And unfortunately, I guess it's not my time yet...

In an abrasive mood.

PS. I Love You.