An Overdue Insight Into My Life.

So much has changed since I last blogged..

I was actually gonna blog at the end of January to update the people that choose to read this blog of mine which probably there isn't many.

But just haven't been arsed really.

A bit of not much to document on, and a bit of no one really gives a toot.

But to the few people who've asked me why I haven't blogged then this entry is for you.

You know who you are.

So what's happened since the summer of 2010....

Well pretty much this is a negative entry.

There's no laughter here this time round.

Pretty gloomy.

But anyways, as you'll probably know that I am in another country now.

Another time zone.

I say when I go back home and forth, I travel through time because Aberdeen is so 1911, whereas everywhere else is 2011.

It is really that dull here.

Some say I don't venture out much, and that's true I guess.

But when there's nothing to see then why go out?

I've made some friends but they ain't close friends yet like the ones at home.

I've heard from somewhere, from someone that as you get older, the more difficult it is to make friends....

I don't think there is a logically reasoning behind that theory but while I'm up here, it is very true.

I kind of got this feeling that I'm only here to study and friends are secondary but sometimes when you just feel shhh you kinda want a pal to have a laugh with or laugh at.

There's been a few times where in the solitude I feel I just want to breakdown and cry.

You could say I'm not dealing well with being away from home.

I wouldn't go far as to say I can't hack it anymore and I want to go home.

But I certainly wish I had more home comforts here.

But in saying that if I had to do it all again I'd pick studying in Aberdeen over Edinburgh.

Truth is that I've come to like Aberdeen as my place of education.

I don't have a comparison.

I don't know what it's like in Edinburgh, but certainly if I studied in Edinburgh, I'd be able to go home after the days' classes.

Here, I walk literally a minute, two if I walk slowly back to my messy, soul sapping dormitory.

I rather walk the 50 miles between Edinburgh and Glasgow.

There isn't much if anything I like about Aberdeen.

I've not been the best advert for it. Ha

There's no girls at church sighs. Haha.

I don't have a TV here.

It's just a nightmare.

....

But I know that this was God's plan for me.

I don't know what He had in store for me but I hope I am living it up for Him.

I'm not to sure if I'm meant to do His' work or I'm meant to do something for me (as selfish as it sounds, I mean teach myself a thing or two)

I'm certainly feeling that I'm at the point where I need a pick-me-up.

I feel so lethargic and I yearn for this semester to hurry on by so I can fly away for a wee while.

There's no specific reason why I feel like this but rather a combination of things.

The upsides are I've not failed anything so far and I pray that that continues.

I work hard and I push myself to my limits when I want to.

Sometimes to the annoyances of others but when I want something done, it's my way or the highway.

The downsides are that home is so far away.

And that for me is one hell of a downer...

I love going back home when I can but it sucks that it only is a temporary fix from the pain I feel a lot up here.

I've missed out on a few things while I've been up here, nothing major but it would have been nice to just show my face and just been there.

I miss the fun at home.

Feel self-excluded....

But at this moment in time, I wish Summer would hurry up and come.

There's so much work to be done, I really can't take my foot of the gas.

But I need a fill up because my red light is about to come on.

PS. I Love You.